Vaccines, Velveeta, & Viagra
The Nineteenth Amendment gave women the right to vote. Christianity no longer supports stoning disrespectful children (though it’s not that bad of an idea). Landmark strides have been made in microchip technology and manufacturing that does not involve illegal child labor. You can get TGIFridays mozzarella sticks in the freezer section at your local WalMart.
Cars run on batteries and batteries run on lithium and oddly, so does my crazy Aunt Caroline. There’s fast food, organic food, and I’m sure that someplace there is probably fast organic food. You can run your lawnmower on doughnut grease and fly a flaming American flag behind your inverted, ergonomic bicycle while your neighbor washes his car with an eight ounce spray bottle and a ShamWow.
We’ve gone from The Beaver to The Fonz to The Mentalist; Kool & the Gang to The Sugar Hill Gang to Gang of Four … from the Green Mountain Boys to Greenpeace, Green Acres, GreenDay, and Green Tea. There’s Bob Dylan, Sheriff Matt Dillon, and Dylan from Beverly Hills 90210 (the original one, not the new one). You can call it all progress or natural progression; the generation that follows yours isn’t going to care. They will choose for themselves. Oh yhea, the times, they are a changin’. And they always have been.
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I wonder who told Obama that “CHANGE” was a good slogan? CHANGE is the number one threat. It’s the opposite of everything that makes people happy. *assume Jane Austen voice: “Let’s not listen to that scary Rock-n-Roll, My Lord; go put some Tony Bennett on the victrola.” (no offense to Tony Bennett who is super sexy)
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Let’s say I start wearing little white day gloves and carrying a parasol (two accessories that I think are very spiffy). What would you say if you walked past me in Macy’s? Would you compliment me on my dynamic use of historical fashion or give me a weird look and cut through the sales racks?
Suppose I decide to put a smokehouse in my backyard and keep a couple of Haitians back there to tend to it.
OR
What if I (in association with IMAX and Bill Gates) created a magic machine that turned all of the 68-inch plasma screen televisions at Buffalo Wild Wings to black & white?
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How is it that in a nation created on generational “CHANGE”, we are so reluctant to accept that which is not our “own”. Until we can, we will always be more divided than united and if you ask me, that’s something that REALLY needs to change.
